Getting Tubed II

Okay, so the big day I'd been dreading. A double whammy of operations under local (still awake!) anesthetic. One to for the Hickman line and the other to put a feeding tube in my stomach. Google both these things, I dare ya! Pretty gross, and very scary for someone who will only to he dentist if he has to.
7 am begins a 48 fast, so the bowl of soggy Rice Krispies I'm eating just doesn't seem to be hitting the mark. I still have this hard plastic tube stuck to my face with surgical tape and reaching down into my stomach like a long uncomfortable fish bone. I'm told that this will go once the operations are complete, kind of a two for one trade off.
I'm wheeled down to the x- ray surgery unit. It's awesome, whiter than white with a brighter than bright sy-fi feel. Huge complex machines over scale people in scrubs and goggles. A cheary surgeon emerges like something from a cheesy medical sitcom discussing "surgery matters" with a band of eager followers while stripping of blue rubber gloves and tossing them in a big metal bin and throwing out his hand and introducing himself to me. "so your our man... err Mr McQueen (wait for it), any relation to Steve?" I've been asked this question so many times in my life over the years I've developed a very straight faced resoponce to this question, "yes he's my great uncle, but he never liked me" he surgeon look me dead I the eye and cracks a smile. Right, let's go through this procedure, what we're going to do today is..... I sign the concent forms and off we go.

Tender is not the word, I'm returned to my bed in the ward, drunk from the massive dose of local aneshetic, feeling like I've been shot in the chest! I lay motionless for fear of igniting the pain grenades in my body. Reflecting on the procedure, there was a couple of bee stings and lot of pushing and pulling, but no real pain as such. The same can not be said for now. I'm given a clear drip fed pain killer and I drift away to sleep. I wake with Bethan by the side of the bed stroking the top of my hand, I cant focus and keep drifting in and out of consciousness. I apologised for not being much company, and drifted off again.

In the morning I cant help but scowl at the patients opposite and there delicious soggy cornflakes and luke warm tea. I look up at the clear bag of fluid that is plugged into my side, mmmm breakfast.I'm issued with a tiny beaker of clear liquid, which I take without complaint. It tastes like oranges and limes and with in two minutes of drinking this liquid I'm shivering, burning and all at sea with sweat firing out of ever pore,im having some kind of reaction. The only thing in my mind is how there is no way I can be sick, A. I dont have anything in my stomach and B. with all the stuff hanging out of my torso and the pain associated you can forget pain grenades, I'll set off the whole armoury!... So I hang tight while the nurse shoots another liquid into the canular in the crook of my arm which an instant equalising effect. "this will make your head fuzzy...." once again I drift away into yet another bottomless sleep.

I wake up just I time to see Bethan looking round the curtain, it's visiting time again, where did that day go? I'm still in a lot of pain, she helps my out of bed pausing at regular intvals to allow me to take in the pain in between movements. With a bowl of water and cloth she washes my face and back washing away the fatigue of laying almost motionless for such along time. It feels like on of those after work surfs, when you've been working all day in the Summer time, your gritty and grimy and all you can think about is getting in the sea. When that moment finally arrives and you're emersed in the water and feel the day and its negatives flush away, your reset, restored, realigned and retuned to a functioning state.

Baked to dryness maccaroni cheese and a small pot of ice cream are tasting like the finest food on the planet as the 48hr fast is lifted. With in minutes the colour is coming back to my face, I feel a pulse of strength which is deepend by the nurse removing the fluid drip from my side. I'm free, not hooked up or plugged in. It's recommended that we go for a walk down the corridor as soon as I feel well enough. That would be now.

Me and Bethan walk hand in hand down the long hospital corridor and talk about the kids and the house and for a second it's like none of this is happening. We return to the ward, the ENT nurse and head and neck specialist are in the reception area and comment as we past "look at you, very impressive to be up and on like that", I can't help thinking I'm being assessed for the main event. It feels good to know I've got the nod.

As I lay in bed writing this I still feel sore as hell, but I know it's getting better and quickly. Having said that, it better had. Chemotherapy is booked to start on Thursady.