Well... Have to say so far this round has been horrible! I'm not sure if my brain has used the time I felt okay after last round to forget how bad the first week of chemo is, or if this is the cumulative effects of the chemo building and kicking my ass that way.
Dr Collinson did mention in our last meeting that this next round my leave me feeling "tired", but I wasn't expecting 24 hr naps and not even having the strength to put a glass of water of water to my mouth. The community nurse arrived at the house on Tuesday to remove my mobile pump and flush my lines, I couldn't even sit upright! I guess the only consolation is that while I'm getting beat up, so is the cancer. It very hard to keep any kind of positivity when you feel this ill all the time, I had a chat with B this evening and I think I might need a bit of support to help get me through these darker times. I think as the radiotherapy looms with all of its potential pitfalls, side effects and physical complications I should arm myself with some proper counciling or guidance to help get me through it, as I can't really say I feel strong enough right now to just "take It on the chin" with out some kind of independent support. I think it's defiantly a conversation I need to have at our next meeting with the doctors.
I was also getting myself a bit worked up that Im not able to make auntie B's funeral next week. Its just impossible to make that kind of journey in this state. I really wanted to be there especially to support my mum, who is having a very rough time with it all at the moment. Fortunately my sisters are in that area and will be attending, so I know mum is going to be well looked after.
Anyway... Quite a short entry this one as very little has been happening other than sleeping and listening to the builders cut paving slabs outside the house for the past four days. Fingers crossed the bounce back will begin soon and I can claw back some sense of normallity.
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