3 month scan...

It's three months after treatment ended. It's at this point the doctors feel that the damage and inflammation from the radiotherapy should be at the stage were a clear view of the current state of any residual tumor would be clear to see. A routine scan is performed to review the effectiveness of the treatment. Its at this point I find out whether or not I'm clear of the cancer or whether I need further treatment. The scan went ahead as normal and week long wait for the results began. At this point I was very nervous despite the fact that visual examinations of the back of my nose were "looking good". I think the fear of more treatment or the situation worsening with regards the spread of the cancer was an ever present thought.

The week passed quickly and on the Thursday I picked up my phone to see I had a missed call from a blocked number. I felt panic, why the call?, why not a letter?, why do they need to talk to me?, is it news thats too important for a letter?, the worry deepened. I called my oncologist and spoke to his secratery. It was his call, but he will be back in clinic for the next hour. I waited patiently for the hour to pass. Sure enough the blocked number call again. I picked up the phone and went through to the other room.

The doctor asked how I was doing, I said fine so as to move quickly towards the bigger question. "As far as the scan goes, its all looking fine"... I needed more, fine?, not excellent, not amazing just "fine". He went on to say that the area behind my nose was looking back to normal, but the lymph node in my neck had a couple of mystery cells that could be residual cancer cells, but were most likely scar tissue left over from the radiotherapy. He went on to tell me that the team feel that the best thing to do was to take a "wait and see" approach, wait a few months and re-scan, if there has been any change in shape or growth in that area the the lymph node will have to be removed. He wished me well and I put down the phone.

I was expecting to feel elated at the news, but it left me feeling slightly hollow and uncertain, but with a fait sense of relief. I went back to the lounge and told everyone the news. I remember it was a really nice sunny day. The kids were running in and out of the house oblivious to what was going on. I told Bethan and my mum and I think we all had a bit of a cry... in a good way.