It's been a really interesting two weeks. The daily radiotherapy has taken place as planned and so have the blood tests and meetings with the different members of the Marsden team. I have felt no ill effects and have enjoyed getting out and about, taking photos and seeing as much of London as I can, but as I sit here writing this I can confirm that during the last 48 hrs the side effects have deffinately rolled into town. It started a few days with a tightness in the left side of my jaw and a large white ulcer in the back of my throat. I had noticed that I was talking through my teeth a little more especially when I was tired. Thursday's RT was followed by a meeting with the Head and Neck specialist nurse, the dietitian and the speech therapist. A very eager and helpful bunch, but the meeting felt a lot like an interview in front of a panel. They were shooting questions at me left and right about my last experience with cancer treatment as well as this recent bout. They were certainly thorough. With my jaw tightening due to the effects of the radiation the speech therapist introduced me to a new method of stretching the tendons at the side of my face. "Have you used these before?" She said holding up what looked like a large wooden lolly stick. "Nope" I replied. Standing me I front of he mirror she passed me two small stacks of these wooded tounge depressors and had me place them in between my teeth at both sides of my mouth. I can only open my mouth about 15mm on a good day, so as she started to slide more of these sticks in one by one the pain increased very quickly. I suddenly find myself standing in front of the three doctors looking like a vampire walrus with these two stacks of wooden sticks slotted in each side of my mouth... in a lot of pain as it stretches the damaged muscle and sinew in the sides of my face. "Do this four times a day... okay?", "Yeeeshhh" I reply with a tear beginning to form in my left eye. I returned home laden with panflets and info guiding me through what they do and contact details should any major issues arise. I try And forget the rather strange meeting with the head and neck team and focus on the fact that I have just one more session early Friday morning and then Bethan and the kids get here for the weekend. Thursday evening offered a chance to esscape. I met with an old friend of mine who I used to skate with back in the early 90's. We met at Southbank skate park and after a quick coffee had a wander into town to look at a few other old skate spots and shops. We wondered about just chatting and catching up. It was nice to forget about the whole cancer treatment grind for a little while. We went for dinner and then went on to watch Henry Rollins perform at The Barbican Theather. It was a really good time and a welcome break.
Bethan called to say that they are only 10 mins away in the taxi on Friday afternoon. I go down the foyer of the apartment block to watch for them arriving. A black cab rolls into the forecourt and I see Cerys looking out in amazement at the huge buildings all around and Joel's crop of crazy blonde hair bouncing up and down in the back seat as he spots me in the revolving doors. I had been waiting what had felt like a very long time for this. Despite the last two weeks going quickly I have felt their absence during every moment of being here. I drop to my knees and catch them both in a joint hug trying to hold back the tears of relief. I feels so good that they are all here. We throw their cases in the apartment and head round the corner to this old pancake house that we had spied in the week. They serve huge old style pancakes with pretty much anything you can imagine on them. This was a big hit with the kids although they found out that they both hate Nuttella and once again London's amazing ability to empty my wallet was proven. It was worth it though just to see those smiles again.
I woke this morning with Joel staring into my eyes "Is it time to get up Daddy?". We have one day together before they head back on the Sunday. I had high hopes that this was going to be a special day that we could really pull out the stops, but as I lifted my head off the pillow I realised that things weren't right. Swallowing felt like the back of my throat was being slashed with razors and I felt exhausted. We had a late start but got into town for lunchtime and after visiting a couple of the hilariously posh sports car showrooms that are dotted about (at Joel's request) we headed to the kaos of Hamleys toy store and let the kids pick out something they liked. When we got back I felt terrible, not because I was tierd, but because I wasn't able to be there 100% for the kids. I wasn't feeling good at all, so went for a lie down. Bethan came through and assured me that the kids were completly happy and had come to see me and not London. It helped me re- frame the situation and ease the anger that I was feeling towards the situation. I think I had been feeling under pressure to make sure they had the best time possible.
So, Friday's RT session was number 10 of the 30 treatments. I just hope that things don't get too much worse with regards the side effects and I can get through the next four weeks without any serious issues.
Ask them for that numbing gel for your throat. It was called xylocane 35 years ago,it has a similar name now. I used that to eat, even though it says don't eat, you could choke...that's what they gave me! It was still hard, but I ate. It has a similar name now. You just gargle with it and spit it out. You won't feel the razors anymore and you may be able to stretch without the pain!
ReplyDeleteAsk them for that numbing gel for your throat. It was called xylocane 35 years ago,it has a similar name now. I used that to eat, even though it says don't eat, you could choke...that's what they gave me! It was still hard, but I ate. It has a similar name now. You just gargle with it and spit it out. You won't feel the razors anymore and you may be able to stretch without the pain!
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