Saturday 19 November 2011

...what is normal?

It's 15 days since the first meeting with the ENT specialist with regards an ear infection that anti biotics didn't seem to be shifting. I've got pretty chronic surfers ear, so I'm well used to ear infections and water getting trapped behind the bony growths and causing my hearing to be muffled for a couple of weeks before it clears.
After several visits to the GP and multiple rounds of anti- biotics, im still deaf in my left ear with tinnitus so bad it sounds like a constant fire alarm! Im driving over to the specialists office at Trelisk hospital, having ridden 20 miles on my bike the day before and surfed the day before that, I'm feeling as fit and as healthy as person can. The thoughts that were in my mind were, okay see the doctor, get some super strength tablets and get this gone!
About an hour later I was driving home, with only one thing on my mind "how the hell am I going to tell Bethan that they think I have Cancer?"
The week that followed was unbelievable. Waves of strength and hope one second being washed away with fear and terrifying uncertainty the next. I understand now that this was the fear of not fully knowing the extent of what I was facing. Once the call came the following Thursday confirming the presence of cancer, it was almost weirdly reassuring.
The biopsy followed on the Monday, with a meeting of all the head and neck cancer team the following day to discuss the results. Scaumus Cancer cells we're evident in both the primary tumour behind my nose and the small lump on my neck.

1 comment:

  1. Brilliant. after writing this I realise its not, but what you've written is.

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