Maintainance...

Looking back over the last week I think myself and Bethan have both agreed that I don't want to be placed back in that situation again while on this course of treatment. I think we have drawn the conclusion that due to the lack of facillites there i was getting sicker faster than i was getting better!

I had a really good chat with the community nurse who came over yesterday to clean lines and change dressings. She has made us aware of the level of support that is available to us at home. They can are pretty much able to visit on a daily basis, not that you would really need them to and are on the end of the telephone if you need information or just have a question, no matter how stupid it might seem. She also mentioned that IV hydration and other drugs are able to be administered at home on prescription from the doctor and that with cases where the patient would need it isolated in hospital 9 out of 10 times they are better off at home. This seems to make a lot more sense to me and offers us a viable alternative should I have further compplcations with the treatment.

It's great to be back, but I still don't quite feel right. Ive avoided laying around in bed and tried to stay active, even if that just means pottering around the house at this stage. The weather has been a bit crappy the last few days, but I'm really keen to get out for a walk in the fresh air today, even if it's just down to the shop and back. I noticed my legs while I was getting dressed this morning. The muscle that I have acquired on my thighs and calfs from years of peddling seems to be fading away. What was once hard sinewy power has begun to look frail and slightly depleted. I have had this happen before through injury and time spent away from the bike, but because it's never for that long it means that muscle memory has always helped me to quickly bounce back in a matter of a few rides. I get the feeling that 5 months off the bike and all the chemicals are going to put me right back to square one, or worse.

So, what to do? I guess the only thing I can do is try and maintain what I have. I can't ride a bike for fear of injury and I can't surf with all this stuff hanging out of my chest. I'm thinking, I live in a beautiful place, all I need to do is get out and walk. Ipod on and go, me, black flag and the cliff paths... It's the only way.