London Calling...

It's been a strange time since my last post. Getting better and better with the negative effects of the surgery fading away and even the mental side of things that I was struggling with so much have gotten a little easier. My energy levels have pretty much returned which has meant being able to get out and about and see friends and spend more time with family, taking Joel to see Star Wars being a major highlight! The weeks that have lead up to Christmas have been good, despite the lingering thoughts of what lies just after New Year with the move to London. I've had Radiotherapy on my head and neck before. The treatment I had was extensive and left me unable to eat and drink for over three months. I lost four stone and was ill to the point of needing regular blood transfusions. It was a dark time that to this day I still struggle to recall in much detail.
While attempting to brush the negatives to one side, the weeks and days have been steadily counting down until one day we suddenly find it almost time to go. The weight of what I was doing hit me hard. Not only was I leaving my family and friends behind for 6 weeks, but my home.

I love Newquay, I always have. I have never really liked leaving the place and always feel very happy when I return. I don't expect everyone to feel how I do about the place, but to me it's always had this magic about it and I've always been glad to call the place home. The train was leaving mid afternoon on the Sunday. We had decided it best that my mum come up with me to London and Bethan stay behind with the kids so that they can continue with school as normal and a least have one of us there with them. I sat with my mum and Bethan in the kitchen and and while we were talking travel plans through I could feel myself welling up. The thought of leaving the kids and my home was suddenly more overwhelming than ever before. Joel came through and jumped on my knee announcing that he didn't want me to go and broke down in tears. It was horrible, there was only a short time left before we set off to the station. I didn't know what to say other than the standard "I will see you soon, try not to be upset", but none of this did anything to console him. We left, the drive to station was in silence... there wasn't much to say. I was devastated. Me and my mum boarded the train at Bodmin and we were on our way. A few hours later we pulled into Tiverton and we looked at each other as the temperature dropped in the train and the engine switched off... we had broken down. After a brief wait we were put on a another packed train full of people traveling after Christmas. Mum and I were crammed into two tiny seats with our suitcases under our feet for the remaining 5hrs of the journey to London. When we finally got there it was late and we were tired. We found the apartment and got some supplies from the supermarket over the road that would see us through till morning. I spent an early night thinking about everything that has happened and what was about to happen over the next 6 weeks.
Radiotherapy is given in Fractions, this means it's a large dose of radiation broken down into smaller doses, usually given daily. This means I will need to attend daily appointments to receive my treatment. I had been issued an appointment sheet with all the dates and times of my 30 radiotherapy sessions. Each appointment should only take about 20 mins, they zap you and then let you go. I'm not having RT to the levels I had first time round, the dosage is less and the area it's applied to is smaller. With this in mind I hope that the side effects will be much less. The side effects of RT include, weekness/tiredness from changes in blood levels, internal sores, dryness as saliva glands are permanently damaged, headaches, sickness, general pain and burning to the skin where the beams of radiation enter. The issue with re-radiating a patient who has already received high doses of radiation are things like, hemorrhaging, osteonecrosis, plus many more really scary things that usually happen some time after treatment ends.

I show up at my appointment at The Marsden, instantly I'm scalded for not bringing my appointment card. After a short wait we are shown down the maze of corridors that end in the Radiotherapy department. Some of the Radiology team I have met before and are really cool people, super friendly and really put you at ease. I hop up on the table, lay back and the mask that was made last month is placed over my face and I'm bolted down. After some prodding and adjustments the staff leave the room and even though my eyes are closed I sense the machine quietly moving around me. There's no pain, not even the slightest sensation, just the occasional click or sound from the machine as a local radio station chatters away in the background. "That's it Mr Mcqueen, we will see you tomorrow" said one of the nurses, and that was that.

We walked through the now darkened streets back to the apartment with a keen eye on the crazy rush hour traffic now screaming through town like a river of lights, wheels and angry car horns. It leaves me feeling a bit like the country mouse blinded by the big city lights... but I'm sure that won't last too long.