Auntie B...

Have you ever cried while using the instant messenger feature on Facebook? I did for the first time last night.

My auntie has been battling multiple cancers for over eight years now and as a friend, inspiration and bottomless source of positivity in my current situation there are few who can match her determination, kindness and wicked sense of humour. Because of the close nature of our family I have always seen my aunties and uncles much more like older brothers and sisters. Espesially in the way we all share such a close thread when it comes to laughing together. We may live many miles apart, but that has never made a difference when we come together its as though not a single day has passed.

As usual she was eager to hear how things were going with my treatment, I told her that it had been rough and she was quick to comfort me with her experiences, advice and of course humour. I asked how she was feeling. She simply replied, "my treatment has come to an end, I'm on pain medication only from now on." my heart fell through the floor. We have all know for some time that my Auntie's situation isn't curable, but I think all of us had always clung on to the hope that her cancer could be kept at bay long enough to allow a "normal" life span while maintaining as good a quality of life as possible.

It hit me at that point that I'd been sulking, wallowing in my own "why me" self pity over he last few days, and for all my "positivity" over the situation while feeling well, that positive outlook soon took a monumental dive once the treatment began. It's at this point that I think Ive realised that I need some perspective, I need to "re- frame" my view of the situation. Realising aunti B's situation has given me just that. Here's a kind, funny, intelligent lady, who's been told "that's it, we've done all we can" and still she's smiling,laughing and insistent hat I only ever cry tears of happiness.... amazing. It makes my situation look like a common cold in comparison. I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank my auntie B for all her her love help and support, not just recently but throughout my life. Love you so much mate, C xxx