Low eb...

It's been a few days since my last post, and with good reason. The chemotherapy I started on Thursday has been hitting me hard. I had heard and read that the side effects of chemotherapy are cumulative and that the first few rounds can be quite mild with side effects encreasing as the treatment progresses. This is a bit of a concern as the last few days have been very rough indeed.

I have felt sick from the moment the first dose hit my blood stream. That kind of motion sickness where if you close your eyes and keep still you can kind of suppress it while you sit there under your blanket of cold sweat. I started to think that the anti sickness meds weren't working until I missed a dose, that was a mistake!

Then there is the bottomless fatigue. I've been home since Friday and I've been in bed ever since. Is it really making me that tired? or am I just falling into some kind of voulentary hibernation like a big cancer bear hoping to emerge the other side of the Winter, treatment complete and cancer free without having had to face the emotional battle that lies ahead. Each time I've tried to surface from this it's left me drained and sicker then ever before. So, I've taken to just lying here, drifting in and out of conciseness, feeling sick and then not so sick, and then sick again. I'm hanging on to the fact that there is now way it can be like this the whole time. That a "bounce back" is on the horizon. I go back to hospital on Tuesday to have the portable chemo pump removed and to have stitches and lines sorted, which should make things more comfortable, so that is my "feel better" marker for this week, just need to get to Tuesday.