Day 4. I think annoyed, despondent and generally feeling like I'd had enough were the key vibes this morning. I'd been up almost all night battling the usual issues, the ward was noisy even though I'm in my own little cell. It just seemed that the moment I started to drift off there would be something, the moaning, the puking, the buzzers, alarms and the rasp of the Velcro arm band on the blood pressure monitor, the porters walking in at 4 am not even talking but shouting to each other down the ward like its a Saturday night out. There's treatment here, but it seems sometimes like there's very little care.
I've started making notes of what happens to me through the day, the meds I've been given, when my temperature and vitals were last taken and things like that as I'm sick of being asked when and what I've been given by people who I think it's kind of their job to know, because I'm way to ill, scared, confused to remember of the top of my head.
Okay, rant over for now.
They have discovered that I'm now "non- contagious", this still has had no effect in my isolation as they still believe that the condition I'm suffering with could be "viral" so don't want to take any chances. My feed tube flared up today and became really painful and bit messy and it was thought for a time that it may be infected, but the doc seemed to think not. It's been very difficult to maintain any kind of basic hygiene when I'm traped in a room with a sink I can barely reach and no toilet. I was unhooked from the IV pump for about an hour today while Bethan was here so she helped me have a stip wash using the sink in the corner of my room. You'd think having my own room would offer some level of privacy, not so, the tea lady still managed to barge in as stood there naked cradling my undercarriage in sky blue flannel. "Did you want tea love?", "er, no thanks".
It was a simple thing but it helped no end, and it was nice to just sit and chat together unattached from any kind of machinery with a change of clothes and clean teeth... amazing how rubbish you feel when the basics are taken away.
It's just gone 8.30 on Sunday night and the doc just called by to say that my blood counts are back up to where a they should be as a normal person, that's not a chemo knackered person but average Jo on the street- that it great news as it means that I'm in with a fighting chance in the infection stakes and I can start to repair and get better instead of just staying the same. I've also been started on some new antibiotic this afternoon that is to take out and "viral" bugs in my non aerobic system (gut etc) this should impact on the dihorea issue, the bad news is the camera crew are waiting if there are no improvements in the next 12 hrs they want to take a look. I have so got everything crossed that we dont have to go down that road!
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