Ha ha... Daddy, you look like an egg!

This was the response I was met with from Cerys his afternoon having walked into the house with a new grade 1 crew cut.

A good friend of ours who is also a hair dresser came over this morning and very kindly cut my hair. We had a really funny morning laughing about everything, but when a friend of ours who died of cancer this year came up in conversation it was difficult to fend off the tears. I think it's the unfairness of it all, the way that cancer I'd so indiscriminate. It's an evil disease for the way it can just cut a person down who was so in love with thier life and had so much to live for.

No one deserves cancer, I guess you can limit the chances of its through the lifestyle choices we make, but when alls said and done it kind of feels like 'it' chooses you. Especially with what the doctors have said and what I've read about my cancer. It would appear that it has no real cause. There are links to Epstine Barr Virus (EBV) as a possible cause and flaws in the immune system. The later I find strange as I've alway been the type person that never gets sick, I think I went the whole winter last year without a single cold or sniffle, seem to making up for it now though.

Back to the hair cut though. I was getting fed up with malting everywhere. There was hair on the towels, hair in the sink, hair on my pillow, it was everywhere! I was also starting to get some quite obvious bald patches on each side of my head. So... Crew cut it is. Having had my hair like this through choice many times it's no big shock to me, however Cerys and Joel seemed to see things differently and met me with their funny little jibes and observations as soon as they noticed. All good fun, they seemed quite tickled by it all.

I'm seeing the community nurse tomorrow morning for my weekly check over, and I think I'm having the final stitch removed from my Hickman Line, which should make it feel almost unnoticable. The feeding tube has settle a bit more over the last week, but I think that's largely due to my acceptance of the situation. I kind of feel less afraid of it now. Ive manged to fit its upkeep in to the normal morning routine.

I'm due to go back to the hospital this Wednesday for my pre chemo check over. They will run tests to see if I'm up to taking on the next round. As far as I'm concerned I feel okay aside from a nagging cough that I've had since leaving hospital. Everyone seems to have it at the moment including Cerys and Joel. I just hope they don't hold me back from the treatment due to this or the complications I had following the last round. I really want to get on with it. It's been a massive boost to see the lump in my neck virtually disappear over the first round of chemo. I just feel like I want to get another one in there and feel another big step towards nailing this thing.