Sick and tired...

...the title of this entry pretty much sums up the last 24hrs. It took me two hours to have shower this afternoon. Working through the complex maze of one handed manuovers so that i can hold the chemo pump while trying to wash and dress with out damaging the seemingly fragile cables and connections. All his was to be achieved through the weary "chemo funk". A tiredness that grips without mercy, de activating every fibre in every part of my body like a voodo curse. Having said that the odd window of opportunity will occasionally present itself where the "funk" will lift for a short time, somteimes and few seconds sometimes half and hour. Thease opportunities are siezed and used for drinking, going to the toilet and fetching anything I may need that won't be obtainable during the next paralysing wave of motionless nausea.

Food has also been a funny one today as I've seen the return on the "upside down" taste buds. Strong flavours are repellant to the point of causing sickness. It seems cold food is the only way at the moment. Ice lollies, and ice cream and fresh pineapple being at the top of the list for getting rid of the foul taste in my mouth caused by the chemicals. Keeping it simple and plain seems to work well too, jam and bread and a glass of cold milk seems to sit well. I'm very conscious of getting enough fluids as I'm spending such a huge amount of time sleeping, the last thing I want to do is end up dehydrated and back in hospital like last time!

Although the last 24 hrs have been a grind, I still feel confident that this time round is a little easier than the last. I was in a way worse state at this point on the first go.

This afternoon, and my worries and strains were once again put into perspective with the news that aunti B has been admitted into hospital with a serious infection. My mum has just headed home to pack to catch the early train north to be with her tommorow. My thoughts are with her as always.

Bethan has spent the last three days packing for the move tomorrow, which is all looking like its going to plan. I just feel pretty helpless not being able to chip in and help out. At least I'm much more independent than I was on the last round which has at least taken a bit of the pressure away from Bethan.

So... Positive markers, move house tomorrow and have my chemo pump removed on Tuesday. From there all I have to focus on is getting myself right for the weekend. It will be amazing if this can happen as it will give me a whole two weeks of relative normality until round three. That's the plan, just hope I can make it happen.